tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8301169739772147369.post6556541328542659378..comments2020-10-29T01:01:02.511-04:00Comments on Raising Awareness About Abuse and Narcissism: Keep Believing in Yourselfabusemom81http://www.blogger.com/profile/18122539484692019580noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8301169739772147369.post-57287390443164599962009-12-11T18:34:03.041-05:002009-12-11T18:34:03.041-05:00Hi Jo, thank you for sharing your story: My ex is ...Hi Jo, thank you for sharing your story: My ex is the exact same. I can't tell you how many times he stood up in court and made the statement "I never hit her I wasn't abusive".. But his actions were exactly the same as your ex husband EXACTLY!..I have tried to make him understand his abusive ways for the sake of my son, but he doesn't care....thank goodness he has never ever threatened to take away my son. Your story gives me that extra motivation and hope that I too will find a "sane" relationship. I can't wait unti that day...I am happy that you have overcome what you endured, I will too and I know, through my groups and counseling I am coming to the end of this process and I am finally ready to move on! Thank you for your story and taking the time to read mine. I appreciate it.abusemom81https://www.blogger.com/profile/18122539484692019580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8301169739772147369.post-78517565586827961542009-12-10T23:08:54.237-05:002009-12-10T23:08:54.237-05:00I read your posts with interest as I too endured d...I read your posts with interest as I too endured domestic abuse for a period of ten years. That was 6 years ago and now I am in a 'sane' relationship and currently studying for a sociology degree. <br />There are a few points I would like to make in relation to a victim's state of mind both during and post abuse. For me physical violence was the catalyst of finally leaving the relationship. Unfortunately while the abuse remained nonviolent I thought it was something I could manage. I made excuses for verbal assault and saw damage to property as the fallout of heated arguments. As sad as it sounds to me now, I would wish my spouse would hit me so I could have the battle scars to prove my pain. And this bring me to my point. The term domestic 'violence' had me convinced that as long as I was not physically wounded I was not a victim. I dare say that my spouse felt the same way. I urge anyone that feels the same way to seek help. Emotional abuse is a detrimental to your well-being as any physical assault. <br />When I finally left, things escalated to the point that I feared for my life. Any method my ex-husband could think of to 'engage' me and therefore reinstate his dominance he would do. Which is what your ex-partner seems to be doing to you. <br />My method of regaining my life was to do the following:<br />I obtained a 3 years violence protection order (after he put carbon filings in my petrol tank)that AVO also included our son.<br />I moved towns<br />I changed my mobile phone numbers <br />I reverted back to my family name<br />I refused all contact with anyone of his family or mutual friends<br />I asked my family and friends not to pass on messages or tell me anything about him<br />When he did locate me, I refused to speak to him, instead I called the police and had him arrested(twice).<br /><br />Yes he threatened me with legal action. I appeared twice in court but never acknowledged his exsistence. I saw it as a job to finish and left my emotions for private time. Despite all the threats of losing my son,I remained confident. On both ocassions the judge found in my favour. <br /><br />I am not suggesting this was easy nor suggest this would work for you but I am suggesting that a stiff upper lip and sheer determination not to be bullied any further was the reason I have managed to escape the pain for good. <br /><br />I sincerely wish you well for your (potentially fabulous) future <br /><br />Cheers JoJo Duffyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04711020142975581214noreply@blogger.com