Raising Awareness About Abuse and Narcissism

So this is a continuation of the last post. Again, I found these really helpful and I hope that you do as well.

Rule 16 - If a correction is needed use the sandwich approach - praise, correction, finished with praise. Just like a teacher in elementary school!

Rule 17 - Do your best to anticipate his reactions and have counter responses ready. But don't overdo this as you can drive yourself crazy trying to anticipate his every move.

Rule 18 - Expect immature behaviour - remember who you are talking/emailing.

Rule 19 - Do not hesitate to contact or involve the police at any sign of violence or danger. You need to protection yourself and make sure you are safe at all times.

Rule 20 - Don't accept any "kind" gestures or offers from him. Also, don't offer to do anything for him or ask him for anything.

Rule 21 - Don't ever volunteer yourself. Make them ask and say no! This is your secret weapon!

Rule 22 - Abusers are FANTASTIC actors! He will appear to be pitiful and in need of your help. He will try to get you to feel sorry for him. DON'T!!!! Be strong

Rule 23 - Do not allow your abuser to ambush you for a response. If you don't want to respond DON'T!

So these are the 23 rules of communication with an abuser that were passed on to me and that I am sharing with you all! Next, I am going to focus on the rules of engagement with an abuser which I found equally helpful for my situation and I hope that you will too! Good luck and try to follows these techniques when communicating either via email or in person with your abuser!

Rule 24 - When you are in negotiations - State something that he MUST do before you do your part. OTherwise it will be a one sided negotiation.

Rule 25 - Play ball when it is neccessary to avoid being on the receiving end of a narcissistic outburst - it can be severe! Find ways to make it look like your abuser will win by co-operating. This I find the most challenging, but the most important! I dont know about you all, but I have been on the receiving end of a narcissitic outburst several times and it is not fun!