Raising Awareness About Abuse and Narcissism

During my counselling session this week my counsellor gave me a task. She wants me to write a post on this blog, about the interesting fact of legal aid versus having to pay for a lawyer.

In my personal situation, my ex is on legal aid and I do not qualify for legal aid (I own my home) so I have to pay for a high priced lawyer. And yes, lawyers charge a pretty penny.

We have been to court approximately 10 times in the past year which has costed me thousands of dollars and him NOTHING! Now I fully support legal aid and it's importance but there are a few aspects that I find extremely frustrating.

Firstly:

Because I bought a home to raise my son in, I don't get legal aid. I get less money than my ex and support my son by my self (with out any child support) yet the government won't help me with my legal costs? The message I see here, is if you are going through court, don't own a home. Make sure you have a small apartment and no yard to raise your child.....I disagree with this fully!

Secondly:

The judges are not allowed (supposed) to know who is on legal aid and who isn't. I don't understand this concept? When you fighting for costs and the lawyers are arguing the judge should be aware of who is paying for their lawyer and who is not when making this decision.

Thirdly:

Due to the fact that my ex isn't paying for his lawyer, he doesn't care! He will go to court as many times as he wants, take advantage of it and cost me thousands of dollars just because he can! There should be more severe limitations and regulations around legal aid...these are my tax dollars paying for him to use a lawyer for free!

Fourthly:

The order of costs. My ex has been ordered costs - he was ordered in November (a fairly large sum) but given a full year to pay because he is on legal aid and doesn't have money...Well, I am a single mom on maternity leave who has my lawyer right away! If he would have negotiated and worked with us, we would not have to go to court so often. So I had to pay thousands and wait a year for him to pay me???? Then a few weeks ago, he again was ordered more costs and ordered this time to pay right away...I haven't seen anything? My lawyer says I probably won't...So what are the consequences to him??? I can't say to my lawyer "well I can't pay you today but wait a year until I get my money!!" So why can he???

Fifethy:

When the judges are making their costs orders, they ask about prior orders. Twice now, he has not been ordered to pay anything (even though technically in law terminalogy I won) because he already has an order to pay. Again, WHAT ABOUT ME???? I am only in court, because of him, yet I have to pay and he doesn't???????

Sixthly:

When we are heading into court, because I pay and he doesn't, I am reasonable, fair and only ask and request what is the best for my son. He isn't at all! He shoots for the stars and makes everything rediculously challenging WHY??? Because he doesn't care it isn't costing him anything...

Seventh:

The lovely matter of child support. Why is it, that he makes enough to pay child support, to afford a lawyer but pays nothing and I have to take him to trial to get child support and costs orders (several have been adjourned to trial)??? What is this all about??? Again, his attitude is well it doesn't cost me anything so I will avoid it as long as possible and cost her money trying to get it out of me. My attitude, if you have a child HELP ME SUPPORT HIM! My lawyer fees are driving me into the ground. I don't want to sell my house just to get child support. My home is for my son!

So this is my rant about legal aid versus paying for a lawyer. I find this frustrating and outrageous and feel that the regulations around legal aid should be changed. It is a great concept for those who need it and will use it wisely, but for those who take advantage of it and abuse it - they should be cut off!