Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.
Norman Vincent Peale

About Me

I am a 28 year old single mom of a 9 month old boy. He is my world and my life. Before I was pregnant I was in a very physically and emotionally abusive relationship. My son gave me the strenght to leave that man to create a good life for my child. My life has now become a matter of protecting my child to make sure the pattern of abuse does not get imposed on him so he is a "benefit to society" not a "menace to society". I am in the midst of a court battle for visitation and child support and it is taking all that I have to stay strong for my son. His father harasses me every chance he gets and is trying to take control back of my life and I won't let that happen. Please note I am not a counselor or psychologist; I am simply sharing what I have learned through my personal experience and time through counseling and groups to recover from abuse.



Friday, April 16, 2010
From my experience and my research a lot of abusive men suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have touched on this in past posts, however, I want to provide a list of symptoms and some further information on this disorder. Please read these symptoms carefully and compare them to your abuser.

* They believe that they are better than other people
* They exaggerate their acheivements and/or talents
* They expect constant praise and admiration
* They believe that they are special and act accordingly
* They do NOT recognize other peoples emotions and feelings
* They expect others to go along with their plans and ideas
* They take advantage of others
* They are jealous of others
* They believe that others are jealous of them
* They have trouble keeping healthy relationships
* They set unrealistic goals
* They have a very fragile self-esteem
* They appear unemotional.

When I read this list, I can't believe how much it describes my abuser. Had I educated myself before, I would have seen this disorder in him, many years ago. He would make comments like "I am hot, I should be famous. I am better looking than Brad Pitt" Or "My music is better than theirs I should be praised" (ya he can't even read music...???)...He thought and still does, that he was gods gift to women, this world and he deserves everything. He treated everyone like they were beneath him and needed to be constantly praised and complimented. If you are in a relationship with someone and this list sounds like them, you should consider the possiblity that this person suffers from this disorder, and stands a good chance to be abusive: If they are not already!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I want to start this post off by saying R.I.P Uncle Pete I know you are having a great time where you are now!

In my group we are discussing coping and survival skills and I thought this would be a great post as I haven't touched on this at all in the past.

When caught in an abusive relationship there are standard survival/coping skills that us women will rely on to get us through it. It is human nature to react in the following manners.

*ADDICTIONS: This is the coping skill that I personally used for the 2.5 years that I was being abused.

No matter what your addiction is, it is normal and a survival skill that is built into us humans. It is not a healthy way of living, but it is natural do react in manners listed above. The first step is to recognize the abuse, and the second is to recognize how you have changed in order to survive and cope with your pain.

It is natural to shut off and feel numb inside. Again, this is our way of coping with the pain that we are/have endured. It is easier to shut off than to deal with reality

This is another big one, and one that is natural as a human being to cope with your pain. This is hard to get over, but it can be accomplished with your hope to get over and move on from your past.

These are just a few, but in my opinion, the most common and the ones that I wanted to touch base on. Remember that you are resilient and you do have the ability to survive and get past what you have been through. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to reach out for help.

I want to end this post by wishing everyone a Happy Easter Long Weekend and I hope you are enjoying this beautiful weather with your family and friends.