Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.
Norman Vincent Peale

About Me

I am a 28 year old single mom of a 9 month old boy. He is my world and my life. Before I was pregnant I was in a very physically and emotionally abusive relationship. My son gave me the strenght to leave that man to create a good life for my child. My life has now become a matter of protecting my child to make sure the pattern of abuse does not get imposed on him so he is a "benefit to society" not a "menace to society". I am in the midst of a court battle for visitation and child support and it is taking all that I have to stay strong for my son. His father harasses me every chance he gets and is trying to take control back of my life and I won't let that happen. Please note I am not a counselor or psychologist; I am simply sharing what I have learned through my personal experience and time through counseling and groups to recover from abuse.



Friday, March 26, 2010
So I am going to make this post about myself and my progress. I am getting a little sentimental today, because one year ago today was the day that I was induced and my first son was born on March 27 (tomorrow) 2009. I was so scared, petrofied really, of not only being a single mom, but having to deal with my abuser on a regular basis. On the way to hospital I sat in the car in silence wondering what the next year will bring and how I could move past everything that I had been through, and raise my son in a happy home.

Well one year has flown by and I made it through. I am a different person and my life and soul do not reflect any damages that my abuser did to me. I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship, and left when I was three months pregnant. I tried to leave many times before, but was caught in the cycle of abuse.

I have been through a year of counselling, 6 months of group with strong and wonderful women who have been through similar experiences and been doing this blog now since October. I have escaped the emotional and physical damage that he did to me. I have learned and educated myself about abuse in order to understand his tactics and to move on. I no longer live in fear and have escaped my anxiety as well.

I have moved on with my life and have a new found confidence in myself, not only to live life the way I want, but to find a new man who will treat me with respect and love. I know the red flags, I know the techniques and I know how to recognize them - I can see them a mile away now! Going through what I went through has made me a stronger women, a better mom, a more compassionate person and I am finally at peace and bliss with my life. I am truely happy with where I am and where my life is going to go.

For you women who are still in an abusive relationship, or are just leaving one and struggling to move past the damage and hurt that you have, reach out and get professional help! I did and it changed my life. I see everything in a new light and I have moved on. I have a restraining order against him, independent third parties that do the exchanges with my son and I am free from his control, abuse and narcissistic attacks. I have the rules of communication and I follow them to escape his constant attempt at "email wars".

I will not back down and will continue to do what is best for my son and of course for my self. Life is good and I love this blog as a way to educate myself further and hopefully help those women who are out there and feeling lost, lonely and hurt. I was there, I understand and I want to say that you can get through it - YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT and be happy again! Life is so precious and beautiful, but it is what we have been through that make us who we are. If we never experience true pain and sorrow - how do we know when we are really happy? I am not saying being abused is a good thing, but if it has happened to you (as it did with me) try to see the positive, learn what you can and make sure it never happens to you or anyone you love again! Don't let you abuser win in damaging you forever, take control and do everything you can to find love, happiness and peace within yourself.

Happy Birthday to my precious son who is my angel. Ayden, you saved me and you are my miracle. I wake up everyday just to see you smile and to see the joy of you growing up and being a happy young man. You are my life and you make me the happiest person in the world! I love you buddy!


Ali from the Teddy Tour said...

Just stumbled onto you blog and after reading this post wanted to say a big CONGRATULATIONS! On the first birthday of your son, and for breaking the cycle of abuse. What a fantastic birthday present to give your child!

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