Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.
Norman Vincent Peale

About Me

I am a 28 year old single mom of a 9 month old boy. He is my world and my life. Before I was pregnant I was in a very physically and emotionally abusive relationship. My son gave me the strenght to leave that man to create a good life for my child. My life has now become a matter of protecting my child to make sure the pattern of abuse does not get imposed on him so he is a "benefit to society" not a "menace to society". I am in the midst of a court battle for visitation and child support and it is taking all that I have to stay strong for my son. His father harasses me every chance he gets and is trying to take control back of my life and I won't let that happen. Please note I am not a counselor or psychologist; I am simply sharing what I have learned through my personal experience and time through counseling and groups to recover from abuse.



Sunday, November 29, 2009
so last night I received an interesting comment from a women named Maybel Laine. I just had to respond to this comment. Firstly, I 100% urge everyone who reads my writing to comment, positive or negative, I am interested to hear your opinions on my writing. This comment means my voice is being heard.

In her comment there were a lot of assumptions that were made based on what I have written so far and I definitely want to clarify, in case any one else out there is making the same assumptions.

First: I do all my writing while my son is sleeping or visiting his father. This is my therapy and something I am passionate about. I love to write (always have) and have taken several writing courses through out my university and college careers. I have an 8 month old who takes naps during the day and goes to sleep early at night. I have some free time and what I choose to do with my free time is write! It is my hobby that I enjoy, so if you have an issue with me writing so what!!!!

secondly: I have always encouraged a relationship between my son and his father. I have also ALWAYS encouraged his father to get the help I feel he needs. I do not want him to treat my son the same way he treated me. Yes, according to Maybel Laine he has faults, but they don't matter. Well, they do matter. My son is an innocent child who doesn't deserve anything but the best. My son's father's, mother also encourages him to get the help he needs: yes he has faults, yes I have faults. But ultimately we should both improve ourselves for the sake of our son. I have done this and don't feel that he has.

thirdly: The battle in court I refer to in my profile, is over the father coming to me to see his son. I disagree with the principle that I should have to drive my son to his father and bear the expense. I don't receive child support and I deserve a few hours a week to my self; After all, this is when I write. It clears my head, gets things off my chest and helps me to raise awareness for other women out there like me. I know from readers and friends, that so far, my words are helping them. If I help only one person in this world, than I have succeeded in my goal! The court hearings are also about sole custody and child support. As Maybel Laine pointed out, it takes two to make a baby and two to raise him: This includes financial expenses! I love that men out there don't want to pay any expenses to help with their child, but feel they deserve all the rights! Why do us women have to bear the expense alone? I am against and strongly disagree with this notion. After all, with holding child support is ANOTHER form of abuse according to my counselor.

Fourthly: My writing is focused on abuse, raising awareness and having my voice heard. I don't want to focus on my son's relationship with his father; as this is between my son and his father. I have no say in how their relationship is. It is up to the father to build that relationship with my son. The only opinion I have is that the father better not treat me son poorly as the protective mother in me will come out if this happens! I am focusing on raising awareness and creating a place for women of abuse and sharing my story. Not about a relationship between an abusive man and his son. But by all means, he is more than welcome to write about his challenges and his story. That is his right!

So Maybel thank you for taking your time to read all my writings I really appreciate it. Thank you for taking your time to write a comment I also appreciate that. I hope this posting clarifies any assumptions that may have been taken from my reading so far. I don't fully understand where and how you came to your assumptions, but would love to hear from you as to what piece of writing it was that allowed you to jump to those conclusions!!! And I don't know what country you are in, but in the U.S.A you only get 6 weeks maternity leave, so there are millions of moms working with a 7 month old!!! Americans are not that lucky in this sense!

I love that people are reading what I have to say - this is my goal. I want abused women to know they are not alone and for society to understand what abuse is, and how common it is! I can list over 20 people off the top of my head, in my personal life, that have been abused in some form or another by their partner. It is a real issue and one that I am passionate about! Hence, my blog!!!!


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