Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.
Norman Vincent Peale

About Me

I am a 28 year old single mom of a 9 month old boy. He is my world and my life. Before I was pregnant I was in a very physically and emotionally abusive relationship. My son gave me the strenght to leave that man to create a good life for my child. My life has now become a matter of protecting my child to make sure the pattern of abuse does not get imposed on him so he is a "benefit to society" not a "menace to society". I am in the midst of a court battle for visitation and child support and it is taking all that I have to stay strong for my son. His father harasses me every chance he gets and is trying to take control back of my life and I won't let that happen. Please note I am not a counselor or psychologist; I am simply sharing what I have learned through my personal experience and time through counseling and groups to recover from abuse.



Saturday, November 28, 2009
So through my counseling and groups, I have to come to find a very common ground between all of the women: We all suffer from anxiety! I developed anxiety at the beginning of my abusive relationship: Although I didn't know that it was anxiety, actually I didn't what it was at all and was sick of my doctor telling me I was a hypocondriac.

See, I would wake up at night nauseated and vomitting for what appeared to be no reason at all. During the day I would be shaky, my heart would pound, I had trouble breathing and would hyperventilate, I would feel dizzy and constantly tired. When I had a panck attack like this at work it got recognized as a symptom of anxiety. This was a shock to me.

I began to learn more and seeked help for it. I was never fully in control of my anxiety when I was with my abuser, but now, one year later I am anxiety free. I am still a worry bug - but I relate this to being a mom!!!

Being a victim of abuse has proufoundly affected me and it has changed me: But, for the better. Although I went through hell, and I am still going through difficult times I will be a stronger women and a better mom. It has made me who I am and created a passion to raise awareness of what abuse is and to reach out and try and offer a place for victims to talk and to feel comfortable: WE DESERVE THIS!!! and we shouldn't be embarassed and ashamed any longer.


Anonymous said...

Interesting. I had the same thing happen within a few months of marrying my abuser. I was having terrible panick attacks all day long. I would wake up at night with awful panick attacks and actually get up and do strenuous exercise to try to "burn" it out. Eventually they stopped, but I did get to the point where I would start to panic at the realization that my abuser was coming home rom work each night.

There were so many signs of abuse even before I married him, but because none were at the level of what I watched my own mother go through I didn't recognize it as abuse. I also was seeking out any kind of love or emotional connection and was afraid to back out of the relationship even with the serious signs of abuse and control. I had serious doubts but was too afraid of being alone if I acted on them.

abusemom81 said...

I thought it was interesting too! I'm glad you called the hotline: did it help? did they offer resources like counseling or groups for you? If I can ask, how long you were with him in total and did he ever hurt the kids? And it's unfortunatel, it seems you grew up with abuse in your family and then you always went through it with have had enough abuse in your life girl!!! I am glad to see that you are moving past that and you will find a good man!

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