About Me
- abusemom81
- I am a 28 year old single mom of a 9 month old boy. He is my world and my life. Before I was pregnant I was in a very physically and emotionally abusive relationship. My son gave me the strenght to leave that man to create a good life for my child. My life has now become a matter of protecting my child to make sure the pattern of abuse does not get imposed on him so he is a "benefit to society" not a "menace to society". I am in the midst of a court battle for visitation and child support and it is taking all that I have to stay strong for my son. His father harasses me every chance he gets and is trying to take control back of my life and I won't let that happen. Please note I am not a counselor or psychologist; I am simply sharing what I have learned through my personal experience and time through counseling and groups to recover from abuse.
Blog Archive
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2010
(30)
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January
(14)
- POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL: ISOLATION
- BACK TO THE POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL
- INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE
- POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL
- DONATIONS
- Resilient Adults
- MISPLACED COMPASSION.CONT
- MISPLACED COMPASSION
- HEALTHY SUPPORTS
- Unhealthy Supports
- Link between Narcissistic Personality and Abusers
- LAYOUT
- ABUSE STATISTICS
- HAPPY NEW YEAR - WARRIER WOMAN
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January
(14)
Saturday, January 16, 2010
11:47 AM |
Posted by
abusemom81 |
Edit Post
So I want to provide my thoughts and feelings towards the short story I posted a few short days ago.
I feel that the title is excellent and really shows a common pattern in abused women. Abused women, will show compasssion towards their abuser and have the thought that he is abusing her because of what is going on in his life. She feels as though if she shows compassion and feels sorry for him and tries to fix his problem, he will stop abusing her.
This again, is a strong misconception when you are in this type of situation. Your abuser, will ALWAYS have something or someone to blame for his anger and abusive ways. You can't show him compassion, as he is not showing you any. And honestly, why does he deserve your compassion?
To the abused women out there, you should be showing compassion towards yourself and your children (if you have any). If you are demonstrating compassion towards your abuser, is it MISPLACED! No matter what you do, how hard you try, he will always have an excuse for his actions and that will never change. Whether he blames you, his work, his parents, the government! He will always, blame something or someone else because he is the victim in his eyes: But in reality, you are the victim and are the one that needs compassion and help.
You can't change him: An abuser can be changed, but only when they realize their actions are their fault, within their control and when they seek professional help.
I feel that the title is excellent and really shows a common pattern in abused women. Abused women, will show compasssion towards their abuser and have the thought that he is abusing her because of what is going on in his life. She feels as though if she shows compassion and feels sorry for him and tries to fix his problem, he will stop abusing her.
This again, is a strong misconception when you are in this type of situation. Your abuser, will ALWAYS have something or someone to blame for his anger and abusive ways. You can't show him compassion, as he is not showing you any. And honestly, why does he deserve your compassion?
To the abused women out there, you should be showing compassion towards yourself and your children (if you have any). If you are demonstrating compassion towards your abuser, is it MISPLACED! No matter what you do, how hard you try, he will always have an excuse for his actions and that will never change. Whether he blames you, his work, his parents, the government! He will always, blame something or someone else because he is the victim in his eyes: But in reality, you are the victim and are the one that needs compassion and help.
You can't change him: An abuser can be changed, but only when they realize their actions are their fault, within their control and when they seek professional help.
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MISPLACED COMPASSION
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On Leaving a Legacy9 years ago
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Choices11 years ago
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NEW URL14 years ago
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Diary Page #215 years ago
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Playing it Safe on the Web16 years ago
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